RSVP's

We made a list of the top RSVP questions we get asked, and answered all of them right here for you. Whether it's deciding when to set the RSVP deadline or how to handle a late RSVP, this quick Q&A has all the answers you need!

Q: When should the RSVP deadline be? 

A: You should send your invitations out to all of your guests between 6 and 8 weeks before your wedding with an RSVP date 4 weeks or one month before before your wedding day. Usually caterers want a final head count 1-2 weeks before the event, so that you can finalize all of your guests' responses, call those who may not have responded, and create table assignments to give to your caterer. 

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Q: What is the easiest way to track RSVPs?

A: Back in the day, pen and paper were the only way, then we moved on to the infamous Excel spreadsheets. You can combine the invitation spreadsheet with the RSVP one and also use this list to create your seating chart as well. Include the guest's name, address, phone number, response, meal request, and whether or not they have a plus one. You may also want to get an index card holder to keep all of the response cards in as you receive them. It's an easy way to keep them organized and all in one place. Divide the box up into a yes section and a no section and organize them alphabetically by last name. Don't feel like you have to update your RSVPs every day as you receive them, it may begin to feel like a tedious task. Instead, choose certain days to sit down and go through them- it may make it more exciting to see who is coming all at once!

Q: Is it acceptable to send online invitations and RSVPs? 

A: Things are definitely changing and we are seeing more brides go paperless when it comes to their wedding invitations and RSVPs. Not only does it save on the money you would you would spend on invitations, envelopes, postage, etc., it also makes it easier for both you and your guests. As a guest, you receive the invitation, have to write in your reply, and then make a trip to the post office or mailbox to drop it off. Receiving an invitation and replying right online can knock one more thing easily off your guests list and off yours because you won't have to input their responses into a spreadsheet. Many brides worry that going paperless might come off as cheap, but it can also come off as modern and efficient. One thing to also remember is that many online wedding invitation sites will still send you a hard copy of the invitation as a keepsake so you can still have that traditional invitation to hold on to. 

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Q: What if some of the guests haven't responded by the RSVP deadline?

A: If some guests haven't responded by the RSVP due date, it is more than acceptable to call to give them a reminder. Make it clear that you just wanted to assure they received your invitation in the first place and check to see if they just forgot. If they haven't responded because they can't attend, you can explain that you would just like to know if they are going to attend so you can solidify the guest count. Try to receive an answer from them while on the phone and have them follow up with the hard copy RSVP.

Q: What if a guest responds but there is no name or the name isn't legible?

A: Sure, after you get all of your RSVPs back you can start to track down who those illegible cards must be from, but to save yourself the time and wait, you should always number each of your RSVP cards before sending them out and then number your invite list to match. This will make it really easy when you receive a card with no name. Aren't sure where to number your response cards without it sticking out? You could even invest in an invisible ink pen to number each of them without guests even knowing!

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Q: What if a guest responds with a plus one that wasn't invited? 

A: Although you never want to hurt the feelings of friends or family, you also need to understand that this is your wedding and you are the one who is also paying for the guests to be there. If you do not have the extra budget for your five friends inviting a guest, then it's okay to notify them and just be honest about the situation. Your friends and family should understand, especially if you are trying to keep the event to a small, more intimate occasion. If however, you realize that most of your other friends or family are in relationships and their significant other was invited and you have one or two friends who you are inviting stag, you should consider extending a plus one to them or overlooking it if they reply with one. What is easiest is to keep it fair though, if one friend not in a relationship gets a plus one and another doesn't, you need to have an explanation. 

Q: What if a guest RSVPs past the deadline or even the week of the wedding?

A: A deadline is set for a reason and most people understand that when it comes to weddings, it's really important to RSVP on time, this isn't deciding whether or not to come over on Saturday for dinner, there's much more to it than that. Once you review all the guests that haven't RSVP'ed by the deadline and called them to remind them, you might get a few last RSVPs. If however, someone changes their mind or you can't get in touch with them and they try to RSVP within 1-2 weeks of the wedding, you have every right to decline their RSVP. If it will add extra stress to you, then you can be clear to the guest that the deadline has passed. 

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-Caitlin