Becky's Wedding

Matt and I were married on May 13, 2006, in Northborough, Massachusetts, not far from where I grew up. We had the ceremony and reception at the same location- this made it easier since a large number of our guests were from out of town and it ended up pouring the entire week before the wedding and on our wedding day. With all of the flooding, it was nice that guests only had to go to one place. 

The only thing Matt cared about was wearing tails. He didn't care about any of the other details. I had wanted a more casual wedding- but I couldn't say no to the one thing he wanted- so we ended up with a much more formal affair. The bridesmaid dresses were black with a white accent and we did purple and white flowers. 

I spent the day with one of my best friends. We got our nails done, then our hair and makeup, and then made our way to White Cliffs to get dressed. Once we were all ready, the picture taking began. Matt and I didn't see each other before the ceremony, so we did all of the pictures on our list that didn't require the both of us. 

Our ceremony was upstairs- so once all of the guests arrived, the bridal party made its way up. I'm Jewish and Matt is Lutheran so we decided not to incorporate either religion in the ceremony and were married by a Justice of the Peace who is also a family friend. We put together a short, but meaningful ceremony and wrote our own vows. It was beautiful and perfectly "us". 

After the ceremony we took some more pictures and enjoyed cocktail hour. We wanted to make sure everyone had a great time and ate well, so we spent a lot of time, and a good amount of our budget on the menu- starting with cocktail hour. There were a ton of passed hors d'oeuvres and a couple of stations- we also had an open bar. 

After cocktail hour it as time to be introduced. We came in to, "Lovely Day," by Bill Withers and had our first dance to "If I Didn't Have You," by Amanda Marshall. It was perfect. After our dance Matt's brother gave a beautiful toast and my father read a poem he had written for us. He has written a poem for me for every major event in my life- always in the style of Dr. Seuss. 

Even though we didn't incorporate religion into our ceremony, we did do the Hora. It was a great way to open the dance floor and it's always a good time. It was a little scary at times and my cousins almost dropped me, but it was fun. 

Once people took their seats, the first course was served and Matt and I made our way around to say hi to everyone- and while we were busy we missed out on what we were told was a heck of a meal. People are still talking about the food over six years later. 

Instead of traditional favors, we made donations to the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life. Cancer has touched both of our families and our mothers were very involved with their local Relays. We put information about the donations on each table. Also on the tables were a few martini glasses with chocolates my mother and I made. 

We did our parent dances and then the dance floor got busy. We took a quick break to cut the cake and then spent the rest of the night on the dance floor. We had a great time dancing with our family and friends. Things got a little crazy towards the end of the night when the DJ played "I'm Too Sexy", and dedicated it to the groomsmen. A few of them took the song literally and started taking their shirts off. My mom and her friends then proceeded to join them on the dance floor while waving dollar bills. Talk about embarrassing. But everyone had a great time. 

-Becky

Holiday Weekend Weddings

For some couples, choosing a wedding date is an easy thing. They pick a date that's important to them and leave it at that. For others, it can be a bit more difficult. Once you have it narrowed down to a specific month or time of year you may want to consider a few things before making your final decision.

While holiday weekends can be attractive times to hold a wedding, there can be some negatives as well. It can make the party- and time with your family and loved ones- last longer, which is wonderful, especially if you have a lot of out of town guests. It also gives them more time to travel without missing work and other weekly obligations. However, traveling on and around holidays does get much more expensive. Also, many families have holiday traditions and prefer to spend these days and long weekends together.

Casey and Will's Wedding
Photo courtesy of 217 Photography

You also have to consider your budget. Depending on the holiday, some of the professional services you'll need for your big day will be more expensive. For example, if you're planning a wedding around Valentine's Day or Mother's Day- your floral costs could be exponentially higher. Or if you're planning for a December or New Years Eve wedding- that will affect things too as many professionals are in higher demand for that stretch of time.

On top of holiday weekends, you may also want to avoid religious and cultural holidays. Some to consider are Palm Sunday, Easter Sunday/weekend, Passover, Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Chanukah and Kwanzaa. Also, be careful of Mother's Day and Father's Day (always Sundays), as these are usually days families spend together and people may be less inclined to travel if it means missing out on that day with their loved ones. And Thanksgiving weekend- lots of people travel or have family visiting and may not want to give up on that time together.

Annemarie and Jimmy's Wedding...coming soon!
Photo courtesy of Jennifer Childress Photography

While in theory, holiday weekends seem like a good idea, keep in mind the above- and the fact that some guests may not be able to come because of family obligations or their own budget restraints. There are a ton of things to keep in mind while planning a wedding, so try not to get bogged down by all of them. You won't be able to please everyone, so pick a date that makes you and your fiance happy, fits with the time of year you want and allows you to have the wedding of your dreams. At the end of the day, it is about celebrating your love, not the date you choose to do it on.

-Becky

How to Choose Your Bridal Party

Amy and Sean's Wedding
Photo courtesy of Leave It To Me Photography

Planning a wedding is an exciting and important time in a couple's life, but let's be honest, it can also be incredibly stressful. Having the right people by your side can make all the difference. Your bridal party will impact every aspect of your wedding from the planning process up to the celebration itself. So how do you make sure you're choosing the right people?

Whatever you do, don't rush. After your fiance pops the question and you begin to announce the news to family and friends, one of your first instincts might be to select your bridal party. Try to resist the urge. Your engagement may be long, your relationships may change in that time frame, and your excitement over the proposal may cloud your judgement. Take your time and give the decision some serious thought. Consider waiting until after you've selected a date and a venue. By then you'll have a clearer picture of your wedding day and a better idea of what you might want your bridal party to look like.

While there's no real rule about the number of people who can stand by your side, some brides let the size and feel of their wedding help guide the size of their bridal party. For example, a maid of honor and eight bridesmaids might seem a bit out of place at a small and intimate wedding for fifty people. In general though, the size of your bridal party will be largely determined by who you really want to include, whether it's one person or a dozen. Just keep in mind that very large bridal parties come with their own set of challenges. There will be more dresses to alter, more hair to style, more bouquets to order and more people to wrangle in photographs. All of this is fine as long as you believe that everyone you ask is truly deserving of a spot. 

Figuring out who should be included is the hardest part. You'll have to navigate through who you want to choose and who others expect you to choose. While it's important to consider other people's feelings, the choice is ultimately yours. Don't let anyone pressure you into making a decision you'll end up being unhappy about later, and don't feel obligated to ask someone to be in your wedding just because you were in theirs years ago.

Look to family, especially siblings, first. It's also not a bad idea to consider your fiance's siblings, especially if you have a good relationship with them. Your close circle of friends is next. Choose the people who have been with you through thick and thin, not just the fun coworker you started hanging out with two months ago. 

Don't limit yourself to tradition. Bridal parties are really changing. Do you have two sisters or friends that you can't decide between? Have two maids of honor. Are you very close with your brother or is your best friend male? You don't have to make them groomsmen. They can be bridal attendants. And remember, the number of people in your bridal party doesn't have to match the number of groomsmen. The people you choose should be the most important people in your life, not just place fillers that will make both sides look even. 

While their relationship with you is the most important factor, there are other things to take into account. Think about their individual personalities as well as how they would mesh as a group. Your bridesmaids don't have to be best friends or even know each other, but it would be helpful if they could get along throughout the planning process and on the wedding day. Try to surround yourself with positive and friendly people who will make the experience fun, not complain and nit-pick every step of the way. 

Being in a bridal party is a huge honor, but it's also a big responsibility. Make sure the people you select are up to the task. Be honest about your expectations. Are you looking for someone to help you shop for dresses and complete DIY projects or do you just need moral support? If some of your potential bridal party members live out of town, would you be okay with them missing your shower or bachelorette party? Decide what it is you're looking for, but also be realistic. Your day is important, but everyone has their own lives and responsibilities to deal with. That being said, don't count someone out just because you think they can't afford that $200 dollar bridesmaid dress you love or they won't be able to make the trip for one of your pre-wedding events. In these situations, you can always ask, but be understanding and give them the option to decline if it's too much. If money is the only issue, consider whether or not you'd be willing to offset some of their costs. If time commitment or travel is the problem, try to include them in your wedding in some other way, whether it's as an usher or even a reader. 

Once you've found the perfect group, it's time for the fun part- asking them. Show your bridal party how much they mean to you and how much you'd love for them to be a part of your wedding day with a fun little proposal of your own. Here are some of the creative ways today's brides are asking the very important question, "Will you be my bridesmaid?"

Personalized note cards are a simple and beautiful choice. Check out Etsy or even The Wedding Chicks for custom options. 

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These paper dolls are a cute way to show off the members of your bridal party.

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If they look a bit too challenging, try a similar idea with bunting instead.

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Appeal to everyone's sweet tooth with these personalized dress cookies available in your wedding colors.

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Or get crafty with this cupcake-in-a-jar gift set.

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Start celebrating early with a bottle of bridesmaid wine.

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Attach a note to a personalized item such as a t-shirt, tote bag or even glassware for your perfect invite. These hangers are a perfect example and can be used for everyone's dresses on your wedding day.

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Get your girls excited and keep them informed with this awesome box filled with inspiration for dresses and colors and details about their responsibilities and the wedding events. 

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Or provide them will all the essentials in this bridesmaid survival kit.

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No matter how you ask, your bridal party will be thrilled. So make your decisions, pop the question and enjoy this special time in your life with your nearest and dearest by your side.

-Laura

What To Do When You First Get Engaged

Congratulations!  Welcome to one of the most exciting times of your life.  Before we get into the beginning stages – find your fiancé and kiss!  The next few months can be overwhelming for some so it is important for you, as a couple, to take a deep breath and have fun.  If you haven’t already done so start to think about your wedding – the mood, colors, location, time of year and write it all down in a journal.  Start capturing your ideas on paper so you can refer back to your notes as you continue in the process. 

First, tell friends and family.  Try to tell your closest family and friends in person because they will want to see the excitement on your faces.  Be prepared to retell your magical engagement story over and over again and show off your new beautiful ring!  If possible, take time to get a manicure before you start showing off your ring, after all your hand will be in a LOT of pictures! 

After you have shared the news with the most important people in your lives, sit down and discuss a preliminary guest list.  Take this time to determine exactly who you and your fiancé would like at your wedding.  After you have decided on your guests, ask your parents if they would like to add any additional people.  The guest list is important because it ultimately helps to determine your venue. 

Next, discuss a budget and keep it realistic.  The budget, just like the guest list, will determine the venue, along with all other details, of your wedding.  It can be a difficult conversation for some but it is important to know up front whether or not you will have any financial help from family members.  While having this conversation be sure to remind all involved that this your wedding.  Obviously you appreciate their help but it is important to make your wedding day about you and your fiancé.  If you and your fiancé are paying for your wedding be sure to communicate and start a savings account immediately! 

Think about how long of an engagement you would like and then beginning to create a timeline.  This is a great time to secure a wedding planner who can help to ensure you stay on target and don’t fall behind in your planning.  A planner has the knowledge to provide you with a probable timeline and is in contact with vendors in your budget.  Throughout the planning process and on your wedding day a planner helps to provide you with a stress-free environment so you can fully enjoy your day. 

This is one of the most exciting times of your life so be sure to find time with you and your fiancé.  Show off your ring, tell anyone who will listen that you are engaged, kiss a lot, take your time, stay calm and remember it is your wedding, so take charge.  Last but certainly not least – ENJOY IT!

-Annemarie